jingyeets: (sideprofile | i'd give you my lungs)
Lan Jingyi (AU) ([personal profile] jingyeets) wrote in [personal profile] voidmissions 2021-11-05 07:41 am (UTC)

Jingyi had already dismissed the fit of pouting, halfway as it happened (frustrating as that might also be), because his sense of scale has always been larger, for all his complaints. It was why he could say, pay attention to why this is happening when the inspectors asked after the train, asked after his thoughts on it. Not because he wanted the train addressed before any of them. Not because he felt the train was more valid in the cruelty of its actions to any one of them, or to the inspectors, or whatever the Ministry might do.

Just that the mechanism that left the train running, that swallowed its system and, after, its crew, is larger than they are. He has to acknowledge that, even when it leaves him sick at heart.

"It's the same for me. I don't want my friends hurt, though that's going to happen, and I definitely don't want any of you dying, especially not again." Which was a different sort of complicated for him, but that's on him, as long as none of said friends are trying to possess him or others. "Fighting whatever I need to so you're okay, so my friends are okay, I won't hesitate. But I won't be trying to get killed either, right? Neither will you."

None of them, he thinks, none of them are that bend of seeking death. He's known people can be, knows the stories, warning signs, but that's not true here, not even when Tidus is flirting with nonexistence, so desperately creating his own boundaries and pushing past them for control over his own fate.

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