MEMORY SHARE: 12 OF BEETROOT EVENT (May)

[voidmissions]

JEMA'GRETHY MEMORY SHARE

The caves of Jema'grethy will allow for a few different ways for memories to be interacted with. But for most, such as those entering in bonds, it will be seen like a vision in their head, putting them in the position and perspective of whose memory it is.

For people sharing bond memories, and also memories being shared while moving through the Memory Cave, this is the spot to place said memories! It's not necessary if you'd like to write it during the thread, but hopefully convenient for others. Just make a toplevel with your character's name in the header, and remember to include any content warnings thereafter for each memory, as applicable!

Comments

Recent (CW blood, gore, more angst than you can shake a severed arm at)

[its_dad_sanzo]

I had gone out onto the narrow deck around the temple's main building, drawn out by all the noise. The center of the confusion is easy to see from here -- a young Kouryuu is standing in the rain, locking eyes with a huge bear up on her hind legs. Staring, and speaking. After my boy finishes speaking, the bear drops to all fours, and just... turns and walks away.

Tenkai Sanzo turns to me, not long after we'd begun wearing our new uniforms, and our new charges. The little youkai has his brow furrowed Ah, I think, we must have brushed hands when I handed him his tea.

"Yes, Gen-- Tenkai?" The names are still throwing me off a little. It doesn't help that Genkai and Toudai's new names had just swapped the first letter. Tenkai and Goudai. Right. I have no idea why Jikaku and his eyebrows chose 'Koumyou' for me. All three of us could have traded a letter! I could be Toumei, or Goumei.

I picture the kanji of my new name, 光明. Individually, they mean ray; light, and bright; light. Together as a name, it means 'glory; hope; bright future'.

Weird.

"Ho-san? Um, I mean Koumyou-san? Kou-san?" Tenkai's voice cuts in, and I realize I'd begun staring off into space while my thoughts run away from me.

He still looks concerned.

Skin contact, a background thought says, I wonder what he saw this time?

"More of that 'darkness and light' kaleidoscope you get from me, Tenkai? Or was it different this time?"

The little youkai's furrowed brow is joined by a frown. "Different. I-- I think I saw both of our deaths, Kou-san."

My eyebrows go up. This is the first time Tenkai's gotten any specific visions from touching me, usually it's a confused jumble of moments yet to come in my assuredly very strange life. Darkness, and light. Makes sense to me. Aren't we all darkness and light?

Tenkai nods, and continues, "When I die, you must take the Maten sutra. The night you see your son talk down a bear, you will know it's time."

Strange, I don't have a son? I'm only twenty four and not interested in any relationships, so...

I realize I've been staring after the bear, my hands gripping the railing hard enough I can feel the wood creaking. Behind me, a monk asks if something is wrong, and I let out a sigh as I carefully loosen my grip.

"Nothing... unexpected," is all I tell him.

I call for Kouryuu to come to my room, and meet him there. He's so young, too young for what has to happen next. My time is up, and he must now inherit the Maten, and... the Seiten, I suppose.

Fuck.

I hand him the scroll-form Maten, watching his little hands curl around it. This can't be right, right? Maybe it's another bear? When he's at least eighteen or nineteen, right? That was totally the wrong bear.

I just gaze at Kouryuu for a long moment, and he's so used to my thoughts wandering off that he just waits patiently for me to tell him what is going on. I haven't even opened my mouth yet when I feel it. The Muten is here, tugging at the back of my brain like a sucking void trying to pull me into it.

Just like its current bearer. That wasn't the wrong bear.

The door to the room slides open, and I turn to glimpse the youkai slipping in, weapons drawn. A stealth mission, then? Here for the sutras?

No. Ukoku is here, and everyone knows I can murder this many people without a thought.

This is cover. But he'd never kill me, he wants me. He wants me to travel the world with him, entertain him for the rest of our lives, but not only am I not interested, I have...

Kouryuu.

I have Kouryuu. He can't--

I feel the spell snapping through the air, passing through everything that isn't human without harming it, laser focused on--

He is. He's trying to--

It happens in an instant, the spell slicing bodies apart without a single word or gesture from the one casting it. Goudai's students fall in a spray of blood, and all Ken'yuu does is step past the bodies as they hit the ground, not paying them any mind. They could be bags of raked leaves.

Goudai steps forward, too. Then he charges the boy, and I already know how this will end.

It was... I will miss you, Goudai. Muichimotsu. Is this why you asked me to come? Are you giving me this brat to watch over?

Ken'yuu leaps right over the body as a crow cries out, as Goudai falls, the huge man's blood spraying into the air like a geyser. I already know that he's gone. At least it was fast. Unlike Tenkai. Or the rest of us.

The boy doesn't approach me. He just stands there, coated in Goudai's life, and I'm certain I can see tears cutting trails through the blood. Muichimotsu, muichimotsu. I have a duty to do. Hold nothing. Do not mourn. Let it go. Just let it go.

It's so hard to let it go, he was the last of us! And one of my only friends, the only one still alive!

I squash it. Muichimotsu. Enjoy what you have while it's here, then just let it go.

I step forward.

It's coming, that spell. I lock Kouryuu into place with one thread of chi. If I use the Seiten this spell will just cut right past it, like the walls and doors, like the youkai attackers who are just sort of... here. To distract me?

Everyone underestimates me, even my stalker.

Kouryuu's yelling at me, he can't move, undo this spell, let him go.

I can't. I have watched everyone I ever cared for die before me and done nothing. At first, because I couldn't do anything at all. Then, when I picked up muichimotsu and wrapped it around myself like a blanket... because I must let it go. Ryūzen, Jyoan, Gichou, Ganpuku, Soujin, Doutaku, Seiran, Shòun. A flash of each face in agony and blood. Tenkai, coated in it, reaching a hand toward me while I just stand there, while Goudai panics and yells his name and Tenkai just, locks eyes with me.

And I just stand there. Muichimotsu...

I can't! Not anymore, not when it's Kouryuu!

I'm in the way, and I stay there, opening my arms wide. No time for a barrier that could even have a slim hope to block this. No way to outrun it if I snatch my son up and run. It has to hit a human.

And I'm right here.

I drop every defense I have, opening just like my arms so that the spell will definitely hit me, and not just pass through me to my son.

I love him too much to let him die like this, cut apart. I'm not strong enough to be covered in his lifeblood. I doubt I would make it out of this room alive if I had to see that, feel that. I regret that it's about to be something he endures, instead. But if I'm out of time, then I can at least save him. It doesn't have to be both of our times.

A fraction of a second later, the spell hits me. It feels... memorable. I immediately latch onto myself with my chi, pouring life energy into keeping myself held together for one more moment. Two more moments. My lungs haven't given out yet, but they will. I have moments, at most.

Even as I speak, I know what to name Kouryuu. Genjo -- to actualize, to get shit done. A wish, a hope. My boy is so strong. So, so strong. He'll make it. He has to. He has to get shit done. I love him so much.

I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you safe.

My chi has run out, holding myself together taking more than anything ever has. The parts are slipping, grinding inside me. My guts are definitely-- I'm only upright because of my chi. Life energy. It's not like I'm going to need it anymore in a second.

My last words, "The rest is up to you, Genjo Sanzo."

My last thought, Live!

I feel the last of the chi run out of me like sand flowing to the bottom of an hourglass. My last sensations are of falling, blood gushing out of my many wounds, one arm falling clean off. The last sound I hear is Kouryuu screaming for me-- and my last feeling...

Is love.